Why Skip Bayless Should Probably Focus on the Super Bowl and Shut Up About This Whole “Kaepernicking” Trademark Application
So last week, I was on my 173rd consecutive hour of consuming blog articles, news stories, tweets, posts, video interviews, transcripts of interviews, analyses of transcripts of interviews, and opinions on the analyses of transcripts of interviews about Manti Te’o and his imaginary dead girlfriend, when I noticed that something else critical happened in the world of sports. OMG OMG OMG! Did you hear that Colin Kaepernick, NFC champion quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers and flat-billed hat enthusiast, recently “trademarked” his signature, tattooed-biceps-kissing touchdown celebration now known as “Kaepernicking?”
Wait, WHAT?! Does this mean that when I finish this blog, Colin is telling me I can’t celebrate by jumping up from my desk and kissing my beautiful biceps? Have you seen my biceps? It’s hard for me to look down at them and not kiss them! It’s like I have Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Chastain staring up at me from each bicep, lips pursed, like some insane Popeye fever dream.
In my panic, I poured through the incomprehensibly large number of stories about this. But then I had a thought. No, not “What am I doing with my life?” No, not even “What is everyone at ESPN doing with their lives?” No, my thought was “Wait wait… I’m a lawyer, damn it! I actually know what all of this means! These guys don’t!” Continue reading the full story . . . »