And now, for your reading pleasure, a brief introduction to the law of defamation, presented in verse:

There was a young client named Ives
who came running in yelling “its lies.”
“Libel!” he cried, “and slander to boot!
You’re my lawyer,” he said, “kill him in court!”
I can do it, said I, but
there are things to consider:
did he tell anyone else on email or Twitter?

If he only told you and
you’re angry at that,
you’ll have to calm down, its only a spat.
But if it was published to one
or to many to see, you’re well on your way
to earning more than a penny.
Did he lie and accuse you
of theft or a crime?
If so then your case may be worth
more than a dime.
But if all that he said was
you’re fat when you’re skinny
or said that you’re cheap
and act like Jack Benny,
your feelings may hurt and
your feathers may ruffle but
that’s not the stuff for
a good legal tussle.

Is what he said false and
more can you prove it?
If not you should leave,
go on, just move it.
So if it’s a lie and you’re accused
of a crime and you can prove that
it’s false and it won’t take much time
let’s talk about court and dollars
and juries
and how can you show you
have damage in flurries.

“He said it to thousands and my
business dried up, I had to sell
out, I lost every buck!”
If all that’s true a jury will
listen, lost profits you’ll get
and boy will they glisten.
But just remember a trial is
not simple, it’s not like healing a cut or a pimple.
So make sure before you let
your hopes soar go get a lawyer
who’s done it before.
There are lawyers at Greenberg who
practice this stuff, give us a call
if it’s time to get tough.